British roots...

Living with two Americans in Spain, it could've been easy for me to forget how to behave like a proper Brit. Thankfully, an English textbook has provided me with the 'rules of behaviour in Britain'. Now, I'll never forget.

1. When you meet someone for the first time, you should shake hands and say How do you do? If you know the person well, you can kiss them on the cheek, but only once not twice. Boys and men don't usually kiss or hug eachother.
2. You mustn't stand too close to people when you're chatting. If you do, people will move away from you. But don't worry, it's not because you smell. (I have to give them this one!)
3. You shouldn't make a lot of noise with your friends in public. People will stare angrily at you. And children musn't scream and run around, especially not in restaurants.
4. The British hide their emotions so don't cry or laugh loudly in public. If you win the lottery, you should say Oh, that's great!(wtf?!) And if your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you, say Nevermind, there are lots more fish in the sea! The, go home and cry.
5. The three most important expressions in English are please, thank you and sorry. To be polite you have to use them all the time. And if you don't agree with someone, you mustn't say I don't agree- say Yes, that's very interesting.

If you follow these simple rules, you won't have any problems in Britain.


Ehem, I beg to differ!